Confessional sex

By kishnevi

Two Italian Goths have been charged by police after they were found having sex in a church confessional.

The Italian ANSA news agency said a man and woman were arrested after a parishioner attending mass at the cathedral in the northern city of Cesena phoned police.

The churchgoer heard “rustling and groaning” coming from inside a confessional and pulled back the curtains to reveal a Goth-rock couple engaged in oral sex.

ANSA quoted the pair – a 31-year-old labourer and a 32-year-old teacher – as saying: “We are atheists and for us, having sex in church is like doing it any other place.”

However, church officials don’t see it the same way.

Bishop Antonio Lanfranchi of Cesena-Sarsina called the couple’s behaviour “an outrage of notable proportions which bespeaks unutterable squalor’.

A purification ceremony would be held to cleanse the confessional.

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3 Responses to “Confessional sex”

  1. Steamboat McGoo Says:

    “Whew! Bless me Father, for someone has sinned in here!”

  2. Old Iron Says:

    Damned goths. McGoo, I thought you had through satire eliminated 99.78% of their population. These must have slipped through the cracks.

    -Funny though; if it were a couple of Emo kids the curtain would have been pulled back to reveal a couple of black-haired teenagers sobbing uncontrollably into each other’s scar-encrusted arms.

  3. jeffreyquick Says:

    At least there were no radio-station shock jocks involved. What the heck, the confessional was unused…the congregation is probably like that at St. James Cleveland, where, per Fr. Crume, none of the members ever sins.

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